I'm the life of the Party -- even if it only lasts until 8 P.M.

I'm very good at opening child proof caps with a hammer.

I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going.

I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, beano and anti-acid

I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

I'm smiling all the time you're talking because I can't hear a word you're saying.

I'm very good at telling stories over, and over and over and over--

I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.

I'm so cared for: long term care, eye care, private care, dental care---

I'm not grouchy. I just don't like crowds, traffic, waiting, children, politics

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.

I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg!

I'm having trouble remembering simple words like---?

I'm now spending more time with my pillows than with my mate.

I'm realizing that aging is not for SISSIES.

I'm anti-everything now! Anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory

I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.

I'm going to reveal what goes on behind closed doors-absolutely nothing!

I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.

I'm in the initial stages of my golden years: SS, CO'S, IRAs, AARP.

I'm wondering---if you are only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?

I'm supporting all movements now--by eating bran, prunes, and raisins.

I'm a walking storeroom of facts---I've just lost the storeroom.

I'm a Senior Citizen, and I think that I'm having the time of my life